See, I Am Still Alive!

Did you all wonder if I was ever coming back? Haha! Well, I did, too. :) I have a lot to share with all of you. Some good, most of it not so good (which means bad). We'll start with the "not so good" news. :)

Last Friday.... or was it Saturday? Oh, that's really besides the point. Last week (either Fri. or Sat.) I woke up really early one morning (7:30, which is super unusual for me). I had this feeling that I should get up and help momma with breakfast, so I did. I went into the kitchen, told her good morning. We got breakfast going (yucky oatmeal) and I squeezed some orange juice for everyone. Mom said, "I'm gonna go get your dad up, now." I said okay and she left to go to their room. After about five minutes, I realized that mom still hadn't come back and that it was awfully quiet in their room. I went in there and sat on the bed, kind of looking around their room. I didn't really pay much attention to mom who was sitting on the bed, sort of hovering over dad who was lying there motionless, except for his hand which he was moving up and down. I looked at him and he was looking around the room, with just his eyes. Then, mom turned to me and said, "Eldarwen, you need to leave, okay?" She didn't sound mad, or upset, so I figured it was just that she was having a hard time getting dad up, but at the same time I felt something was wrong. I left and took the dog with me.

Well, I'm a very curious and nosy person, so I stood close to their open door listening. I heard mom saying my dad's name over and over. I thought, "that's odd." Then I heard her talking to one of our friends who is a nurse, over the phone. She said dad couldn't talk and his hands were clammy. Then mom said to her friend, "I need to know whether or not I need to call 9-1-1." I immediately ran back to me and Narthea's room. I shook her and woke her up. "Narthea, something is wrong with dad and we need to pray for him!" I said. Of course, Narthea starts asking me the details, so I tell her what I overheard mom saying, and how weird everything seemed that morning. We prayed for dad, then went into the dining room and stood close to my parent's bedroom door, to listen to mom. Mom came out of their room, (still on the phone) and said, "Eldarwen, I need you to run down the road and open our gate for when they get here." I could only assume "they" meant the ambulance. I ran back to my room, threw on a pair of paint-splattered capris, a dirty t-shirt, some shoes, and ran as fast as I could down our driveway to the gate. (Of course) I was crying, and I was asking God to make everything okay. I opened the gate and sat on the fence, waiting for the ambulance like mom had instructed me to, just before I ran out the door.

While I was sitting there, our neighbor let his dog outside (a Pitt Bull who is not the nicest dog). Brandi (the dog) started sniffing around their yard, and then she ran up to their fence line and started barking at me. Our neighbor saw me and slowly walked over to his fence line. He said, "Good mornin'." I replied with a shaky "hello". He stood there for a minute then said, "How's your dad this morning?" I said, "Well, actually, he's not doing so well. My mom called 9-1-1." He didn't look very surprised, then replied with, "I woke up this morning and had a feeling that something was wrong. That's why I came over here. What's going on?" I was trying not to let him see, or know that I was crying, but I'm sure he noticed. "Well," I started. "I don't know much, but I heard my mom say that dad can't talk and his hands are clammy." Our neighbor shook his head and stared at the ground for a while. Then he looked back up and said to me, "Well, tell your mom that we're praying for your dad, and her." I said, "I will. Thank you!" Then he walked back to their front porch and went inside his house. Just as he walked inside, I heard the sirens of the ambulance, coming down the main road, then turning onto our street. They turned off their sirens as I saw them coming around the corner. The ambulance and truck pulled down our driveway, and I hopped down from the fence and followed. As I was following them our neighbor's wife leaned out their front door and said, "If y'all need anything, just give us a call!" I yelled back, "Thank you! We will!" Then I started running down our road, to catch up with the trucks that were already at our house.

I walked inside with Caldirwen, who was waiting outside (in her pink pajamas) for the ambulance. We sat down at the table in the morning room, carefully watching and listening to everything the men were asking dad and telling him to do. They helped dad onto the stretcher, then wheeled him out. As I watched them pull my dad through the dining room, out the sliding glass doors, and down the wheelchair ramp, I noticed one thing: my dad was just lying there, staring. He looked unresponsive. Like he was in a daze. Mom followed the men, but just before she went out the door, she noticed we were all silently crying. She started crying, too and said, "Just pray girls. Just pray. I love you." Then she went out the door after dad. Narthea was getting busy packing mom a suitcase and she ran outside, then gave it to mom. As soon as the ambulance, truck and mom (who had to follow them in our truck) started driving down the driveway, us girls all started crying. I do remember crying, "Daddy. Daddy." I also heard Caldirwen say, "I love my daddy."

Sunday morning our Nana took us up to the hospital to see mom and dad. Dad didn't even really notice we were there. I went and gave him a hug, and it was like he didn't even know me. It was sad, but I was determined not to cry and make a scene there, with a bunch of people (who were also visiting dad) in the room. It's a sad sight, ya know. Seeing your dad in a hospital bed, looking all confused. It's one you can't get out of your head, but I managed to act pleasant and happy while we were there. Esara, Caldirwen, Narthea, Nana, mom and I all went down to the hospital cafeteria to get some lunch. My dad's mom was with him, so momma didn't feel so bad about leaving dad. Anyways, we came back up to the room and sat there. Mom was telling us that the doctors and nurses weren't letting dad eat, because they were planning on doing a swallow test. Dad eventually fell asleep from the morphine the nurse gave him, for his headache. Everything was quiet in the room. Caldirwen got up and went over to Narthea. She said, "Can we leave now?" I could tell it was bothering her (and Esara) to see dad like this, and it was bothering me as well. Mom and Nana decided that we should leave, so we all hugged dad and left.

The doctors ended up getting the results from the MRI they had taken early Sunday morning and it revealed a new lesion that the doctor said was "very large". This lesion is in the left hemisphere of the brain. The doctors are now saying they are almost positive that it's MS, but they want to do a biopsy on this new lesion (just to make sure), because the risks are less than 5 percent, and the lesion is so big, that we should do it now before it shrinks and becomes harder to get to. Anyways, mom isn't sure what to do right now. Dad isn't in his right mind to discuss it with her, and we're all so confused about what to do with this Gerson Therapy we were doing, which we can't do because dad has a catheter. Mom says dad is doing a tiny bit better each day. The doctors have been giving dad IV steroids to shrink the lesion, because it was putting pressure on the brain, which was causing all dad's symptoms (clammy hands, not being able to speak, and not remembering anything).

Wow, this is a long, choppy post, but I am glad to announce that my dad is supposed to be coming home from the hospital TODAY!! Yippee!!! I really, really hope he does come home!! Mom has been up there with him the whole time, so Narthea and I have been taking care of Esara and Caldirwen, which can be very challenging when emotions are high and everyone is edgy. I am hoping and praying that daddy and momma get to come home today!! =D

If you all could just keep my dad and my family in your prayers, I would very much appreciate it! We are seeking God on what to do right now. We're not sure if we should do the biopsy, or what we're going to do about the therapy we were doing, and I can tell this month is going to be a tough one (it already has been). Also, my mom's 41st birthday is tomorrow, so please pray that it will be a pleasant birthday for her. I know she has done so much, talking to all the doctors up at the hospital, taking care of daddy and calling us at home, making sure we're okay and updating us (and the rest of the world... through e-mail). She is a beautiful picture for me and my sisters of what a true wife should be and is meant to be. She had done so much for us, given up so much, and I just want to say, thanks momma. I love you and I really hope you and daddy get to come home today! :)

As for the surprise bloggy friends, I haven't forgotten, but I haven't really had a chance to think about it much more, so it may be a while before the surprise is revealed. Oh, and Johanna, I had 17 comments. :)

Also, if any of you have awarded or tagged me while I was gone, or if you just posted something you'd like me to read, please leave the url in a comment on this particular post. Thank you all so much!!

Love & big hugs from your friend,

Eldarwen