Movie Reviews: Old Dogs, 2012, Sherlock Holmes

This should be fun! Recently I have watched three new movies. The movies being Old Dogs, 2012 and Sherlock Holmes. I thought I'd do a review on each of them for you. I'll start with my favorite: SHERLOCK HOLMES.
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In 1891 London, Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey, Jr.) and Dr. John Watson (Jude Law) race to prevent the ritual murder of a girl by Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong), who has killed five other people similarly. They are able to stop the murder just in time before Inspector Lestrade (Eddie Marsan) and the police arrive to make the arrest. Three months later, Blackwood is sentenced to death and requests to see Holmes, who visits him in prison. He warns Holmes of three more impending deaths that will cause great changes to the world. Blackwood is hanged and pronounced dead by Dr. Watson.
Holmes receives a surprise visit at 221B Baker Street from Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams), a professional thief and his former lover, who asks him to find a missing man named Reordan. After her departure, Holmes discreetly follows her as she meets with a man, her secret employer, hidden in the shadows of a carriage. The concealed man states that Reordan is the key to Blackwood's plans.
Three days later, Blackwood's tomb is destroyed from the inside out. Reordan is found dead inside Blackwood's coffin. A groundskeeper claims to have seen Blackwood walking from the tomb. Following a series of clues from the body, Holmes and Watson find Reordan's home and discover experiments attempting to merge science with magic. Later, Holmes is taken to the Temple of the Four Orders, an occult-dabbling secret society. The leaders, Sir Thomas (James Fox) and Home Secretary Lord Coward (Hans Matheson), ask Holmes to stop Blackwood, a former member of the Order. Sir Thomas and another senior member of the group are later killed through apparently supernatural means by Blackwood, allowing him to assume control. He plans to push for Britain to retake the United States, weakened by civil war. Lord Coward, who was in league with Blackwood all along, issues a warrant for Holmes' arrest.

The finale is on the unfinished Tower Bridge.
When Holmes learns he is wanted by the police he goes into hiding and studies Blackwood's rituals, concluding the next target is British Parliament. Holmes tricks Lord Coward into revealing that the plan is to wipe out the House of Lords and then rejoins Adler and Watson. The three sneak into the sewers beneath Parliament and discover a machine, based on Reordan's experiments, designed to release a cyanide derivative into the Parliament chambers. They fight off Blackwood's men, and remove the cyanide containers from the machine. Adler grabs the cylinders and races away, pursued by Holmes. Blackwood and Coward realise their plan has failed. Coward is captured but Blackwood manages to escape.
Holmes confronts Adler on top of the incomplete Tower Bridge but is interrupted by Blackwood. Holmes tricks him into becoming entangled in the ropes and chains, hanging over the Thames while Holmes recounts the technical trickery behind all of Blackwood's supposed magic. A loose beam falls off the rafter supports, causing Blackwood to fall and unintentionally hang himself.
Adler explains that her employer is Professor Moriarty, warning that Moriarty is every bit as intelligent as Holmes but far more devious. Later, the police report to Holmes and Watson that a dead officer was found near Blackwood's device. Professor Moriarty used the confrontations with Adler and Blackwood as a diversion while he took a key component from the machine. This prompts Holmes to accept the new case whilst refusing an offer to name his own fee.
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My thoughts: wow! This movie was very, um, what's the word.... interesting. It's a great movie, but DO NOT watch it if you're sleepy or doing something else. You HAVE to pay attention to EVERYTHING, or you won't understand anything. The plot was great, the acting was perfect and I just loved it! =D Though, there is this very innaporiate scene where his former lover, Irene hand cuffs him to a bed.... naked. Don't worry, it doesn't show anything, but it suggests it. I was like, "Ah!" when it showed the scene. Very, very innapropriate. I hate it when people do that in movies. Besides that scene, I really liked this movie! I must say, though, it was no where near as good a movie as The Prestige. This movie is rated PG-13 for for thematic material including violence, disturbing images and a scene of suggestive material.

Now, my next favorite, OLD DOGS.

*spoiler alert*

Dan Rayburn (Robin Williams) and Charlie Reed (John Travolta) are best friends and co-owners of a successful sports marketing firm. Seven years prior, Dan, recently divorced, married Vicki (Kelly Preston) after being whisked away by Charlie for a tropical vacation. The wedding, however, is short lived. Seven years later, Vicki resurfaces to tell Dan that their short marriage resulted in something he never suspected: twins Zach (Conner Rayburn) and Emily (Ella Bleu Travolta).
Vicki, facing jail time for her work as an environmental activist, asks Dan to take care of the kids while she does her time. Thinking this might be his chance to get back with Vicki, Dan agrees, but only if Charlie will help him since neither have any experience taking care of kids. At the same time, the two must finalize a huge marketing deal with a Japanese company - something they've always dreamed of, but will take all of their talents to clinch.
Because Dan's condo does not allow children, he has to board with Charlie. Whilst this is happening, Charlie and Dan are close to securing the biggest account in the history of their careers with a Japanese corporation. Charlie and Dan's attempts to take care of the kids are well-intentioned, but very misguided. On a trip with the kids to an overnight camp, a hard-nosed camp instructor (Matt Dillon) becomes convinced that Dan and Charlie are homosexual partners. The trip ends with a bang after Dan accidentally sets a beloved statue of the camp's founder on fire.
The kids then proceed to spill and replace Charlie and Dan's prescriptions, mixing them up in the process. Dan then must play a game of golf with the Japanese executives while experiencing extreme side effects and Charlie tries to woo Amanda (Lori Loughlin) with a face frozen by the pills. Needless to say, neither event goes well.
Desperate to communicate with the children despite his inexperience with children, Dan has Charlie recruit Jimmy Lunchbox (Bernie Mac), a flamboyant children's entertainer, who is famous around the world. Jimmy straps Dan and Charlie in motion control puppet suits so Charlie can help Dan make all the right moves with his daughter while having a tea party. The suits malfunction, but Dan speaks from the heart, winning over Emily but his speech makes both Jimmy and Charlie emotional. Everything is great with Vicki as she returns home. However, the guys have sealed their Japanese deal, sending junior associate Craig (Seth Green) to Tokyo. When Craig goes missing after arriving there, Charlie and Dan must fly to Toyko themselves to work. Dan must leave the kids and Vicki despite his (and their) desire to be a family.
Once in Tokyo, Dan realizes that what he really wants is to be a good father. He leaves the meeting without sealing the deal, rushing with Charlie to Vermont for the kids' birthday party. They aren't able to get into the Burlington Zoo in time and are forced to break in with the help of Craig. However, they mistakenly wind up in the gorilla enclosure. Though Dan and Charlie escape, Craig is captured by the gorilla (which takes a strong liking to him).
Dan then steals a jet-pack from a birthday party performer, flying into the ceremony and winning his kids back over. One year later, Dan and Vicki are together, Charlie has married Amanda, and Craig has become like a new "uncle" to the kids.
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My thoughts: Old Dogs is an ok movie. It wasn't the greatest. In the commercials, they make it look really funny, but it isn't really that funny. Yes, there are parts of it that are, though some parts are meant to be funny, but they just weren't portrayed right. Therefore, they didn't come across funny. I watched this movie with Nate, my cousin who was down here last week with his parents, my aunt and uncle. We laughed and laughed through the whole movie, but it wasn't because it was funny, we were just tired and we were trying to stay awake. Plus, when watching a movie with Nate, you will laugh, trust me. He comments on everything and makes it so much more worth the while! :) For instense, there's one part in the movie where Dan and Charlie take Zach and Emily out camping. There's this messed-up-dude attending the camp and he thinks Charlie stole his girl-friend, so when they're playing frisbee he knocks Charlie to the ground. Then, he stand over him, strokes his right cheek and says, "Stay down, gentle warrior." Nate and I BUSTED out laughing. Mostly because Nate said, "I am SO gonna do that to someone when playing football!" And ya know what, I wouldn't put it past him. He is so goofy like that. :P This movie is rated PG for some mild rude humor.

Now my least favorite, 2012.

*spoiler alert*

In 2009, American geologist Adrian Helmsley learns that neutrinos from a massive solar flare are causing the temperature of the Earth's core to increase rapidly. Adrian informs White House Chief of Staff Carl Anheuser and United States President Thomas Wilson that this will trigger a catastrophic chain of natural disasters. Wilson, along with other international leaders, begin a massive, secret project intended to ensure humanity survives. Approximately 400,000 people are chosen to board ships called "arks" that are constructed in the Himalayas. Additional funding for the project is raised by selling tickets to the private sector for one billion euros per person.
In 2012, Jackson Curtis is a science-fiction writer in Los Angeles who works part-time as a limousine driver for Russian billionaire Yuri Karpov. Jackson's ex-wife Kate and their children Noah and Lily live with Kate's boyfriend, plastic surgeon and amateur pilot, Gordon Silberman. Jackson takes Noah and Lily camping in Yellowstone National Park, where they meet Charlie Frost, who hosts a radio show from the park. Charlie references a theory that suggests the Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar predicts that the 2012 phenomenon is going to occur, and claims he has knowledge and a map of the ark project. The family returns home as seismic activity vastly increases along the west coast. Jackson grows suspicious and rents a plane to rescue his family. He collects his family and Gordon as the Earth crust displacement begins, and they narrowly escape Los Angeles using a Cessna 340 as it collapses into the Pacific Ocean.
As millions die in cataclysmic earthquakes worldwide, the group flies to Yellowstone to retrieve Charlie's map, escaping as the Yellowstone Caldera erupts. Charlie, who stayed behind to broadcast the eruption, is killed in the blast. Learning the arks are in China, the group lands in Las Vegas, where they meet Yuri, his twin sons, girlfriend Tamara and pilot Sasha. The group secures an Antonov 225 aircraft and departs for China. Also heading for the arks aboard Air Force One are Anheuser, Helmsley, and First Daughter Laura Wilson. President Wilson chooses to remain in Washington D.C. and is soon killed by a megatsunami which sends the USS John F. Kennedy crashing into the White House. With the Vice President dead and the Speaker of House missing, Anheuser takes over as acting President.
Arriving in China in a crash landing that kills Sasha, the group is then spotted by the Chinese People's Liberation Army. Yuri and his sons, possessing tickets, are taken to the arks. The Curtis family, Gordon, and Tamara who are not possessing tickets, are picked up by Nima, a Buddhist monk on his way to the arks. They stowaway with the help of Nima's brother, Tenzin, who has been working on the ark project. A megatsunami approaches the site as tens of thousands of people are attempting to board the final ark, when a large impact driver becomes lodged between the gears of the ark's hydraulics chamber, preventing a boarding gate from closing and rendering the ship unable to start its engines. In the ensuing chaos, Yuri, Gordon, and Tamara are killed, and the flooding ark is set adrift. Jackson and Noah free the impact driver from the closing mechanism, and the crew regains control of the ark, preventing a fatal collision with Mount Everest.
When the global floodwaters from the tsunamis recede, three arks set sail for the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa, where the Drakensberg mountains have risen in relation to sea level. Jackson reconciles with his family and Adrian starts a relationship with Laura. The film ends with a view of the Earth from space, revealing a drastically changed African continent.

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My thoughts: Wow. My oh my. Uh.... that's basically all I have to say about this movie. It was, uh, to say the least, very ridiculous. I watched this one with Nate, and laughed only once, but not because of a funny part, just because of what Nate said. It wasn't even really about the movie, either. :P One thing Nate kept saying was, "They're pushing their luck." And it was true. The main character, Jackson and his family push their luck like CRAZY through the whole movie, to where, eventually, it becomes cheesy and ridiculous. It was all very staged, and you could tell. John Cusak is in it, and not only does he say a few bad words, he mouths a really, really, really back word. I feel dirty just by watching him mouth it. Nate and I looked at each other, but Narthea didn't even notice. I mean, seriously. It was totally uncalled for. The reason he said it was because he was late to pick up his kids and his car wouldn't start. Still, that's no excuse. Also, the movie never put me on the edge of my seat. You know when you see a commercial for a movie and you think, "Oh goodness, that's gonna be so good, and so on-edge." Then you go to the theater and watch it, and it's not scary at all? Yeah, that's what this movie was like. I mean, the whole time I'm going, "Alright, at least get some scary music playing. I mean, come on!" It was NO WHERE NEAR as good as The Day After Tomorrow!! No way! And, after seeing that movie, 2012 is like a movie for kindergartners. This movie is rated PG-13 for intense disaster sequences and some language.

I hope you enjoyed the movie reviews. I definitely suggest Sherlock Holmes and Old Dogs. I guess if you want to (out of curiosity, or just to say you watched it), you should see 2012. But it's not entertaining, so you'd be wasting your time.

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~Eldarwen Failariel~